Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
