Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Actions speak louder than pants.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
