You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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