last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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