I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
