Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
