took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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