I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
