Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
