I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
