Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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