Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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