so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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