I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
