I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
