i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize