I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize