How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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