she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize