Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
