just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
