He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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