just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I look better un-naked...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
