; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
