Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
