I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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