I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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