Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i barfeds in our rink
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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