She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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