how hairy? two words: wookie tits
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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