Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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