but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
