Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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