Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
