i think my tv is drunk
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
