I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
