he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
