someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
