I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
