You're my little dorito
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
