I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize