I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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