That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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