Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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