yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
