I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
