I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Randomize
