I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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