He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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