If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
