i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
