If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize