So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
