I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
