I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
