My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
