oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Are we still banned from the library?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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