Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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